Wednesday, November 2, 2011

FACE BOOK MAKES ME FEEL LIKE SHIT :(


I went to an all woman's college in Upstate New York or what I thought was upstate because I got lost the first time visiting and it took me over 2 hours to get there. Anyway, they say women flourish educationally in a same sex classroom environment and that's why I chose my Alma Mater- not because hot local guys flocked to the hill in bus loads to see the new Freshman in town and definitely not because I would meet hot West Point Cadets.

At this school I spent the most wonderful years of my life; feeling grown up, meeting my future ex-husband (not a West Point Cadet), going through life changing experiences, and meeting wonderful women whom I thought would be in my life the rest of my life.
I had great roommates and floor-mates and did crazy things together. We drank too much together, met guys, fell in love and got each other through break ups. I loved these women as my sisters and had a lot of them in my wedding party.


             
I met my husband-to-be at a local college bar (where else are college students supposed to meet people- am I right?) Anyway, it was a regular love affair where I was loved by his family and he was hated by mine. I guess that you could say that by today's standards it was a short engagement- we were together less than 2 years from the day we started dating to the day we got married. I thought I was happy. Exactly like Kim Kardashian, I got caught up in designing my own dress and making all the preparations, I also donated the 18 million dollars I received to my favorite charity :/
...Anyway, I was so caught up that I didn't notice or really ignored all the comments from my bridesmaids. After the wedding or maybe even during the party I found out that my so called best friend commented on how my marriage wouldn't last very long and other sorts of horrible opinions. I don't know if the rest of them agreed or what happened but after the honeymoon no one came to visit and see my new house. No one met up with me after work for drinks. No one congratulated me when my son was born 2 years later and no one consoled me when I got divorced. I did keep in touch with a couple of the the girls for awhile, Christmas cards every year until those too stopped coming.




I finally came around to joining FB a few years ago mostly to keep in touch with family overseas but also to find people I really wanted to find. I search for people every once in awhile when I get nostalgic and consider befriending everyone again and then I come to my senses. Well, over the weekend after a few mojitos, nostalgia set in again and I found many of the girls I was friends with back in college and also found that they were all still friends with each other. They all visit each other and know each others' husbands and children. What gets me the most is that they are all spread out through out the country and still manage to keep in touch and see each other. Since so many years have gone by I felt that this year with all the changes I'm trying to make I would reach out and befriend at least the 2 people I kept in touch with the most- No regrets.
I got a very quick and excited response from both of them that made me feel great. They both said that they had been looking for me and were glad to finally see me on FB. I've since gotten a request from someone else I was never great friends with but whom I did know back then and secretly wished we were closer.
Know that we are friends, ( at least on FB- and that's for real yo) I have this deep feeling of failure once again. Reading all of these women's profiles and seeing that they are all married and have kids and have their own businesses makes me realize that I was the one who dropped out of life when I was going through my divorce. I was one of the first to get married and the first to get divorced and it was a great big check-mark for failure. I was embarrassed and felt like I wasn't enough, and in part, I still don't.I 'm glad I'm reconnecting but I'm also wary and cautious and feeling all the regret I swore I wouldn't feel.

I should feel great about what I have accomplished so far in my life but in this FaceBook age of over inflated profiles, feeling less than adequate is really hard to overcome. I have restricted my old NEW FRIENDS access to my profile, already putting "butts" on what could be great friendships & new beginnings and I don't know what to do. I thought I hated being anti-social but now I'm not so sure, and I feel like shit.
What to do, What to do?? I did start by making a list (albeit a short one) of what I have accomplished so far just to feel better and you can check it out here. Please share some things you have accomplished in your life that you think are pretty awesome and any advice is always welcome.

 "Meditation, it's better than sitting around doing nothing"

Thursday, October 27, 2011

WHERE WAS I?... AHH YES MY LIST

October is really supposed to be a fun month, one I have always enjoyed because of Halloween and the candy but mostly because the crisp weather and the beautiful autumnal colors caressing the leaves as they get ready to make their transition early in the morning make me feel alive and rejuvenated (insert bird chirping sound effect here). It's also a great month because it's usually when I have 4 day weekends because of all the Jewish holidays at work. I try to catch up with my whatever it is I was doing that I never got to finish, like a good book, house cleaning, rest, doctor's appointments and exercise.

So I went back to my Zumba classes that I take with my dear sister and I don't know what it is but something is seriously wrong and at this point I think it's with me. Normally I think it's with everybody else but I'm all out of ideas. I kind of led onto how my sister and I talk about things in My Life...It's Killing Me! so you guys know that it's always a touchy and tense "conversation" when ever we meet up and usually very, very short.



When I say I'm out of ideas I mean I have no idea what the fuck to do in order not to punch her in the nose and send her flying across the room. I revert to the only thing I do know how to do because I've done it all my fucking life- just shut down, become quiet and get the hell out of wherever I am with her. Needless to say I did not enjoy the class the way I normally do and I only went through the motions and curtailed it outta there. So much for controlling toxic relationships.

Something else that I haven't been practicing or doing as well as I would like is speaking up when someone insults me or offends me. I've had that happened 2x already at work in the past 2 weeks by the same asshole who isn't an asshole, normally; and the first time I said nothing and today I said something but It was enough. It fell on deaf ears and it stayed with me the rest of the day- so now I don't like him and I will avoid him like the plague. Isn't that a great idea? I think so!

Well let me tell you what happened so you guys can help me. He buys lunch EVERY single day and it's always something new and doesn't mind letting people try whatever it is he's eating- more like he pushes you to try it. Pushes and pushes until you say yes and give in. He's like a crack dealer- well I've tried his sandwiches a few times and now he thinks we are best buddies or something because he talks to me like we've known each other forever. Today, we are in a group of all women, he comes over and shoves his sandwich in my face. I turn my face, literally, that's how close it was, and say no thanks.
So what does this usually very nice person say??? What is the venom that spews from his fucking lips?????


 ME: No thanks :)
ASS: No? you? turn down food?? miracle!
ME: What the fuck is that supposed to mean??

no response...silence...regular conversation among other women resumes.
Me: boiling inside.


I wish I would have something more- and perhaps the comments wouldn't have really bothered anyone but it hit a raw nerve with me because....because I always know comments like that are directed at my weight, they always have- MY ENTIRE LIFE  I've been hearing shit like that.
So I was more pissed that I didn't say more or kick him in his balls.

What do you guys think I should have done? should I stick to my plan of avoiding him like the plague??? And what do I do about my sister???


"Meditation, It's Better Than Sitting Around Doing Nothing"


Thursday, September 29, 2011

MY LIFE...IT'S KILLING ME!


Since I started this blog, I've wanted to be very honest with it and with myself; a sort of a self improvement movement since I turned 40 and the reason for Rubbing My Own Belly.  I of course have never been brutally honest with expressing my own feelings, hiding instead, behind the safety of my silence and now never expecting my own blog being brought up during family arguments.

Monday, September 26, 2011

MIND YO BUSINESS!


 I have met some new people over the last 2 years, mostly women, since I decided to come out of my shell and start living life again. I have become VERY involved lately in my son's new school and became part of so many organizations like I mentioned in my last post I'M SO NOT READY. This is why I haven't been around for a bit making interesting and fucking hilarious posts but now i'm back- i hope.

I had back to school night that lasted over 2 hours last week where I saw the mom's that I met last year but hadn't seen all summer. I have become friendly enough with a lot of them but not friendly enough where they need to suggest that I need a man. Yep, that's exactly what I was told during a "Stop and Chat" with one of the mothers. Apparently the need for sex is written all over my face where she felt compelled to suggest that a man was in order.

She decided to ignore my pissed off /shocked look that I was sporting, perhaps reading it instead as "yes please give me more unwarranted advice on how I really need to get out there and meet a man because I'm too young to be alone" look.

I find it to be so odd that in today's society we still measure a woman's success not by what she has accomplished in her career or in life as a whole but instead by whether she found a guy to marry her and give her babies. 



I went to an all woman's college where we were encouraged to find our own light and reach for the stars and enter the work force and change the world and blah blah blah, which was ok BUT -if you snagged a guy from West Point or Maritime you had really hit it big. I still hear this from some of my younger co-workers where they are so obssessed with who else is getting married in the office or in Hollywood.

I can't help but feel inadequate being the only divorcee/single person in my circle of friends and I can't help but still feel a sting when I say in front of a group of snooty mother's that I'm a single mom. It fades quickly but then I get pissed off. Why the hell do I need a man to feel whole or to be looked at as adequate? I don't. I may be alone but I am not lonely, that's not to say that I don't feel lonely at times. It just really pisses me off when people tell me I need a man.

I don't NEED a man, so MIND YO BUSINESS!!!



Monday, September 5, 2011

I AM SO NOT READY :/

Courtesy of blog.sixreffie.com

OK so here it is,  Labor Day in it's 11th hour and I am so not ready. I'm not ready for Tuesday to be my Monday, I'm not ready for school to start, I'm not ready for summer to be over and I am especially not ready for it to get dark before 7:30pm.

I haven't been posting because I've been trying to get some extra workouts in and just trying to enjoy my last few days of summer-by that I mean I haven't really found anything to write about. I thought I was the most interesting person I knew but I guess I was wrong. I don't want this blog to be a depressive gathering for my friends or a journal about how depressed I am abut being 40. I want to inspire people, help them with what I have learned and share what I know and what I'm going through. So I have been doing some fashion research to bring you the latest and greatest information which I  will try to post that in the next couple of day but I can't guarantee it. I have also been getting back to my meditation and actually working out again- so I will keep you all updated about that.

Since I am working on saying no more often, this also includes saying no to myself although I haven't mastered this yet. Taking on too much just causes me more stress and I haven't been able to say no as often as I would like.



I was nominated as Fundrasing chairperson for my son's soccer team and I've been dedicating a lot of time to that and now school starts and well we know where this is going....m u s t   b r e a t h e!
This week I will be starting my morning meditation and I will let you guys know how that goes. I will also try to post my fashion findings which should be very fun.

Remember: Meditation is better than sitting around doing nothing!



Thursday, August 25, 2011

Project: ME


With this week's earth quake, stories left and right of people evacuating their office buildings due to impending disaster, and extreme hurricanes hitting the East Coast by Saturday night, I have started to think about my life and where I am . I've been doing that A LOT lately- I pause what I'm doing, for what seems to be just a minute and think about what I've done, what I'm going to do, what I should have done and what Bear Grylls would do in order to survive an earthquake and any situation life throws at you. (end pause-2 hours later.)

I've been really thinking about happiness lately and things that are important to me. If I were to die tomorrow would I die Happy? Satisfied with what I've done thus far or would I ask for more time?
I'd ask for more fucking time of course because the only thing that I've done well in my life has been my son. My career didn't go as planned, my marriage didn't work out, I'm not seeing anyone and the list goes on and on.

But all these things did happen and I still haven't asked myself if I'm happy or ask what's really important to me and it's because I'm afraid of the answer. I'm afraid of the little voice in the back of my head whispering "what if I've failed?" or "what if I continue to fail?"



I am letting you all know that aside from my son, I AM NOW THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO ME!
So from this moment on I am starting a new project- ME. I will dedicate time to me, idolize me, work on me until I am so damn happy I will burst. Now I'm not aiming for perfection just progress...

Monday, August 22, 2011

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??



I have a problem.... I have this deep seeded need to help other in difficult situations. I feel like I should be the defender of all those who need a translator, advocate, body guard etc.
Of course that gets me in trouble more often than not and causes me much unwanted anger when the favor is not reciprocated.

There is only one art director at my company, but so many other people feel that they too are bosses. It is a creative field I am in and although design is subjective some people are more qualified than others to give an opinion.

I cannot stand when bosses (or pretend bosses) feel a need to put down their team in order to give a sense of authority in front of others. Especially when they are not even qualified to be in the position they are pretending to be in. 

Well this is what happened at work all last week and i just couldn't take it anymore...it really has drained me emotionally and physically. Especially because the person taking the beating stood there and did nothing for herself AND AND to make things worse, instead decided to agree with her boss.

I ended up being the enemy and walking away really really pissed off. 
I need an inner alarm, something that sounds off when I'm about to stand up and defend someone. 
Something that tells me- no, yells SHUT YOUR MOUTH at me every time I'm about to open it on behalf of someone else...

...I'm tired... really really tired. I'm not just saying that metaphorically or figuratively- I REALLY AM TIRED. I can't sleep at night, I wake up every night at 3:30 am and look at my clock. I toss and turn until 6:30 am at which time my alarm starts to go off and I snooze it all the way to 7:30. Meanwhile I have 45 minutes to get ready and get to work- arghhhh!!!! Because of this vicious cycle I have been neglecting my only outlets keeping me sane: My blog and my jewelry.

I have run out of patience and gusto and i want it back!!!! I want to wake up like I can take on the world, like I can kick ass. I try to psych myself into believing that it'll be a kick ass type of day but by 10:30 am I am loosing the fight with my eyelids. 

There is no way i can be creative this way- thus this stupid entry, but I am working on it- promise. I am trying to get back into my juicing, which I will talk about in another blog, back to my regular meditation, exercising and all the other good stuff I was doing. For now please understand that although the summer is a time to relax and recharge, I am having a hard time with that notion, perhaps because it is my 40th one :(




Monday, August 15, 2011

SAY...KIMCHI!


  


As I have mentioned before my adventures in martial arts and meditation came about unexpectedly and by mere chance. I had enrolled my son in a Montessori School run by a wonderful Korean family where the teachers were all American via Italy, Poland, Cuba and of course Korea.

It was an international airport of knowledge and great food. I was first introduced to Kimchi back in 2000 when my Tae Kwon Do teacher/meditation instructor/Karaoke partner/Buddhist Monk/friend brought some to class. I wish I had the video of what my first attempt at working chop sticks and spicy food looked like...

...ahh memories...but anyhoo, I fell in love again. It was probably one of the strangest foods I had ever tried- rotten cabbage, peppers- OK not rotten but definitely fermented with various seasonings.

It's a dish that dates back over a thousand years and according to Health.com Koreans ate about 40 pounds per person each year back in 2008!





Traditionally, the reddish fermented cabbage dish—made with a mix of garlic, salt, vinegar, chili peppers, and other spices is served at every meal and you can eat it solo or over rice or even as a pizza topping. Some people like to add different ingredients but regardless of the ingredients, all the veggies are chopped up and mixed together with the various spices and fermented. In the olden days, they would bury the kimchi underground (55 degrees) in earthenware pots until the lid popped.

What is really amazing about this food other than the extreme health benefits which I will list shortly, is that women would often gather together in each other's home to prepare the kimchi for the coming season.

Kimchi is high in dietary fiber while still being low in calories. It's great for the digestive system and can fight viral infections AND recent studies point to Kimchi as a potential cancer fighter. Other evidence still shows that the fermentation process the multiplies vitamins, minerals and and all other nutrients present in kimchi and indicates that the probiotics in kimchi are crucial to our well being.
 
Picture Thanks to Gourmet.com
Here is one of my favorite recipes that I found on Gourmet.com. It's pretty easy since it only takes 20 min.


Quick Kimchi

Makes about 2 qt
  • Active time:20 min
  • Start to finish:3 1/2 hr (includes pickling time)
  • 1 (3-lb) head Napa cabbage
  • 2 tablespoons chopped garlic
  • 1 tablespoon chopped peeled ginger
  • 2 tablespoons Asian fish sauce
  • 2 teaspoons distilled white vinegar
  • 1 bunch scallions, chopped (1 cup)
  • 3 tablespoons sesame seeds, toasted (see Tips) and crushed with side of heavy knife
  • 2 to 3 tablespoons coarse Korean hot red-pepper flakes
  • 1/2 (1-lb) Asian pear
  • Quarter cabbage lengthwise, then cut crosswise into 2- to 3-inch pieces. Toss with 3 Tbsp salt in a large bowl and let stand, tossing occasionally, 2 hours.
  • Rinse cabbage well, then drain. Squeeze out excess water with your hands and transfer to a large bowl.
  • Purée garlic and ginger with fish sauce and vinegar in a blender until smooth, then pour over cabbage. Add scallions, sesame seeds, and red-pepper flakes and toss to coat.
  • Peel pear, then grate on large holes of a box grater (avoid core and seeds). Add to cabbage mixture and toss well. Marinate at least 1 hour.
Cooks’ notes:
  • Kimchi keeps, chilled in an airtight container, 1 month (flavor will get stronger)

Sunday, August 14, 2011

GIRL ON A BUDGET: THE CRISP WHITE SHIRT

Every year there are new trends and styles that pop up for must haves each summer but the one summer essential that is a true classic is the Crisp White Button Down. It combines a classic, clean look for summer, along with the tomboy style that has been prominent all spring and will continue into this coming fall.  This top creates a laid back charm balanced by it's sophistication and casual elegance. It pairs perfectly with cute cuffed shorts, wood accessories such as bangles or wood wedges featured here.

Here is my list of a few High End Button Downs that are beautiful but when you're GIRL ON A BUDGET my 6-10 options are even better for their prices.

HIGH END:
1. RALPH LAUREN: $1,098.00
2. CLOSED: $332.00
3. EQUIPMENT: $208.00
4. THE ROW : $890.00
5. RAG & BONE : $310.30 ( b/c the 30¢ makes a difference)

JUST AS FABULOUS:
6. JcPENNY: $19.99
7. TARGET: $14.99
8. THE LIMITED : $28.14
9. THE GAP: $29.99
10. H & M : $19.95



Being a GIRL ON A BUDGET doesn't mean that you can't look fabulous! Fashion inspiration comes from everywhere, even where you least expect, so shop stores you normally don't frequent and look for sales.



Tuesday, August 9, 2011

WHAT THE EFF-Rub My Belly (Adding to the List)

In trying to keep up with my list of fears and overcoming them, I remembered that there is one other fear I forgot to add..

11. STARTING MY OWN BUSINESS.

For the longest time I've wanted to start something of my own whether it's just a creative outlet or it actually grows into something lucrative; we'll see where it goes and maybe I'll have a link to my very own shop in the future :)

But I wanted to share a few pics of the what could be the beginning of something really really great for me that for now keeps me sane.
Working with my hands brings me lots of joy 

but then #4 from my list pops into my head and I stop working, pursuing, wanting, etc. or I come up with yet another fear to add to my list:

12. RUNNING OUT OF TIME (whether it's during the day or something taking to long to take off).
I will keep thinking positively though and keep my fingers crossed.

What do you guys do as a creative outlet or just to decompress??

Monday, August 8, 2011

WHAT THE EFF-Rub My Belly

I've been trying to enjoy some well deserved R&R lately. It seems that the days go by so quickly right after my birthday passes and then the year is over without a formal vacation AND frustration builds.

Mostly I believe it's FEAR!!! that holds me back- the most primal of emotions. In this case it's the fear of spending money I may need for a rainy day. This rainy day, however, has yet to reveal itself. 

I've been analyzing everything lately, specifically my life. I guess it's the "turning 40" that's the driving force for my INTROSPECTION. I've come to the realization that the biggest motivating factor in my life has been F-E-A-R!!! I have done things out of fear and I have definitely NOT done things because of it.

With this blog I wanted to practice an exercise in overcoming many of my fears especially since the brain's default setting is to be "Velcro" for negative thoughts and "Teflon" for positive ones according to Dr. Rick Hanson, Ph.D., author of Buddha's Brain.

So I made a promise that I would be BRUTALLY honest with myself and with my blog and I began this list for 2 reasons: 1. to acknowledge said fears. 2. to overcome said fears. In essence this list will be my way of rubbing my own belly and comforting my inner pet.(don't ask me ask Dr. Hanson.)
 I WILL NOT BE AFRAID OF...
1. starting my own blog
2. expressing my opinion
3. being alone
4. failing
5. getting old
6. falling in love again
7. showing my upper arms (don't ask)
8. leaving my job
9. starting a new job
10. saying no

OK I will start with these for now- i know that there are thousands more but I can't think of them right now. 

Acknowledging all these fears on my list will help me begin to get over them, I started this blog didn't I? 

In order to begin to feel less fearful one has to have many sessions of positive repetitive behavior and I think that through meditation this can be achieved. Unfortunately, it takes about 5 good interactions to make up for 1 single bad one.
I'll just take baby steps...

Remember: Meditation...It's Better Than Sitting Around Doing Nothing.









Tuesday, August 2, 2011

GIRL ON A BUDGET: THE CROSSBODY



I know that I haven't been on for a couple of days now- actually it's more like 7 whole days but...it was my nephew's birthday this weekend and the weather was absolutely perfect for being poolside and enjoying some well deserved down time with family and friends AND my hands were full with Bar-B-Q chicken so I couldn't type. But, I have been busy with my next GIRL ON A BUDGET POST. 

This week I talk about The Crossbody Bag. I saw this silhouette back in December of 2010 and predicted that it would be big for the summer. I saw it making it's way into early Spring but now that Summer is in full effect yo- it is definitely the "it" bag of the season and I'm predicting that it will cross over into Fall. The Crossbody is just that- an over the shoulder bag that crosses your body-duh! but it's also very functional and relaxed. It frees up your hands for those days of savvy shopping, concert going, or anything else you might be doing and want to look super fabulous.  

Here are a list of a few High End Crossbodies that I salivate over- But when you're a GIRL ON A BUDGET my 6-10 options are even more lovely at these prices. 

HIGH END:
1. FREE PEOPLE: $198.00
2. NINA RICCI: $1,190.00 (it is calfskin, but still...)
3. NANETE LAPORE: $425.00
4. LINEA PELLA: $160.99
5. CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN: $895.00



JUST AS FABULOUS:
6. LINEA PELLA FOR TARGET: $19.99
7. DEENA & OZZY @ URBAN: $39.00
8. NY & COMPANY: $29.95
9. OLD NAVY : $19.94
10. THE GAP: $39.95

Remember to shop for sales at your favorite stores or online- and even at some stores you may not frequent. Fashion inspiration comes from everywhere, even where you least expect it.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

EXHALE 4...5...6



Today was an absolutely gorgeous day in NJ. It was a bright clear sky with the sun shining even brighter against it's blue back drop. BUT, It all came to a screeching halt in a matter of 300 seconds. That's it, that's all it took to ruin an other wise perfect day- 5 whole minutes for an irate person to scream at me over the most insignificant thing in the world- A Parking Spot!

I of course entered defense mode instantly and fired back. Although I was glad that I defended myself, that nasty feeling stayed with me for a long while. The idiot went along his day without a care in the world while I sat at my cubicle feeling like crap. The Fight or Flight instinct was so strong and it left me with a pit in my stomach and I couldn't shake it- not at least until I decided to make a conscious effort to release that negative energy (easier said than done).

I sat in my chair surrounded by all the office lights, phones ringing, and people talking, trying to keep still and quiet my mind. I took a deep breath holding it in for a bit and slowly releasing all the negative force that threatened to stay with me. I took another breath, slightly closing my eyes and imagining everything dark and quiet. Well it was a start at least- it would take me a few more "quick meditation" sessions today to let the ugly feelings go but eventually they did.

I really think that meditation is something I have to practice everyday- It seems that more and more I need to take "deep breaths" in order to deal with people these days. Is it me???

I would suggest to anyone that is thinking of meditation for beginners to look into a class or a group course under the guidance of an experienced teacher . I would also tell you to be patient with yourself- it's harder than it looks so don't get discouraged. Lastly, continuity is probably more important than anything else; 5-10 minutes everyday is better than a 1/2  an hour once a week. Before you know it, meditation will become as essential as that morning cup of coffee.



 BEFORE YOU BEGIN:
-Find a quiet place.
-Make sure you are not too tired, early morning is generally said to be the best time.
-Sit comfortably; most people like a cushion under their behind.
-The room is best not too warm or cold.
-Wear loose clothing.

YOUR BODY:
-Keep the back straight,whether you sit on your but or on a chair, this is very important.
-Try to be comfortable and physically relaxed, and avoid moving too much.
-Keep your head straight, slightly bent forward.
-Keep your eyes have open but if you prefer to close them that's fine for now.
-Try breathing through your belly; not breathing with the chest.

YOUR MIND:
- Be relaxed but at the same time awake and attentive: I Find this to be very hard!
- Be aware of your own mind and thoughts.

MEDITATION:
-Give yourself a set time for meditation and try to stick to it- whether it's 10 minutes or 1/2 hour.
-Be consistent

You may feel discomfort in the beginning especially in the legs but don't worry it does get better. If the discomfort in your legs is too much then choose another pose or slowly move your legs while still keeping in mind your breathing.

I hope meditation brings you as much peace and joy that it has brought me, especially for the quick sessions I need at my office, I mean cubicle.

Remember:
MEDITATION- IT'S BETTER THAN SITTING AROUND DOING NOTHING!


-

Monday, July 25, 2011

Inhale 1...2...3



Over the past 8 years I have been involved in martial arts, yoga and most importantly meditation. Martial arts and yoga, I embraced as a form of exercise rather than an art until I fell deeply in love with the art aspect of it.  I became obsessed with my Tae Kwon Do training perhaps hoping that it would fill a void I was feeling. I felt empowered, indestructible and alive. With the teachings of physical power came the fundamental teachings of meditation.

Meditation was something I did not embrace immediately- I just couldn't do it right. My mind would wander without delay, replaying all of the day's events. I would go over my unfinished to do lists and how I would tackle them the next day. I really wanted to give up but something kept telling me to keep at it. I would say that it took me about 6 months to notice that I could actually sit for 30 min. without a single thought in my head while breathing deeply.  I cannot express to you in an adequate way how much meditation has helped me but It Has!

To those of you who may think that Meditations is hokie or a religious practice- I can only say that it's neither but... I can say that there are extensive benefits of meditation and here I list but a few:

1.RELIEVES STRESS
2.INCREASES BLOOD FLOW
3. RELEASES ANXIETY
4.ENHANCES ENERGY
5.INCREASES SEROTONIN LEVELS (IMPROVES MOOD)
6.HELPS YOU FOCUS & CONCENTRATE
7.INCREASES EMOTIONAL STABILITY
8.BUILDS SELF CONFIDENCE.
9. SLOWS DOWN BRAIN AGING
10. INCREASES SELF ACTUALIZATION.

If you want to learn more about meditation you can contact or visit my great friends at So Shim Sa
Zen Center in Warren, NJ or check them out here.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Hi Everyone,
It's finally Friday and it's another blistering day here in the East Coast. Even with this heat a girl has to look her best, right?

I know that it's practically the end of July but I wanted to bring you all a few options for those non-stop shoe shoppers like me who are always looking for something to wear other than just flip flops. One trend for Spring/Summer 2011 that has been the most prominent is the wedge. I have seen this sandal in every store and on everyone, from espadrilles to jute, to cork, to wood and even leather or vinyl wedge. Not only does this shoe give the leg an elongated sexy look but it provides support and height without killing your feet. Of course, who wouldn't want to have designer beauties caressing their feet but there is no need to break the bank to look absolutely fabulous. Here is a list of a few high end wedges I love- BUT when you're a Girl On A Budget my 6 thru 10 options are just as lovely. Check out option 6- at these prices you can buy a new pair for every weekend!

HIGH END                                                                                 
1.RACHEL ZOE: $375.00                                                      
2.PRADA: $425.00                                                                 
3.TAHITI SUEDE WEDGE: $850.00                                    
4.STUART WEITZMAN:$365.00                                         
5.JIMMY CHOO: $425.00                                                   








JUST AS FABULOUS
6. IF CARRINI: $12.00 (Found these at the Square One Shoe Store in Northern NJ)
7. STEVE MADDEN $50.00 (These are almost identical to the Stuart Weitzman pair #4)
8. MICHAEL ANTONIO GOWER WEDGE :$39.95
9. CHARLES By CHARLES DAVID: $59.95
10. SM:$60.00


Don't forget to shop sales at your favorite stores or online (here and here)

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

...And The Celebration Continues!

Today is my 40th birthday and I woke up feeling great. It's an oven here in the Garden State so all intentions for having a great hair day and flawless make-up really went down the drain. The more make-up I applied, the more ran down my face. The beads of sweat on my upper lip formed a clear mustached that rivaled any Mexican cowboy. So off to work I went- late again, with a natural "smugged" eyeshadow look and my feeble attempt at a messy chic bun.
The fruit salad that caused my lateness was a hit, along with the bagels and veggie cream cheese.
Coming home was even better...my entire family waiting for me with birthday wishes and Carvel ice cream cake. Sweeeeeet!



Monday, July 18, 2011

Day 1

So today is July 18, 2011: the Eve of my 40th birthday!!!! It's also the first day of my new blog. I decided to create a blog just to share some of my favorite things. I have been in the Fashion industry for almost 20 years and have been contemplating starting my own business for quite sometime now. I had a bridal business right after I graduated college but it went bust after 1 year. Now, with my knowledge and "maturity" I really wanted to start something with jewelry- so... We will see what this 4Oth Spring shall bring.
I am into a lot of different things, zen meditation, yoga, martial arts, art,etc. So I will be posting about everything and anything that crosses my path! I hope you enjoy this as much as I'll enjoy writing it.
For now, I celebrate myself, all of my accomplishments and my future endeavors with a little ice cream:)