Thursday, September 29, 2011


Since I started this blog, I've wanted to be very honest with it and with myself; a sort of a self improvement movement since I turned 40 and the reason for Rubbing My Own Belly.  I of course have never been brutally honest with expressing my own feelings, hiding instead, behind the safety of my silence and now never expecting my own blog being brought up during family arguments.

Monday, September 26, 2011


 I have met some new people over the last 2 years, mostly women, since I decided to come out of my shell and start living life again. I have become VERY involved lately in my son's new school and became part of so many organizations like I mentioned in my last post I'M SO NOT READY. This is why I haven't been around for a bit making interesting and fucking hilarious posts but now i'm back- i hope.

I had back to school night that lasted over 2 hours last week where I saw the mom's that I met last year but hadn't seen all summer. I have become friendly enough with a lot of them but not friendly enough where they need to suggest that I need a man. Yep, that's exactly what I was told during a "Stop and Chat" with one of the mothers. Apparently the need for sex is written all over my face where she felt compelled to suggest that a man was in order.

She decided to ignore my pissed off /shocked look that I was sporting, perhaps reading it instead as "yes please give me more unwarranted advice on how I really need to get out there and meet a man because I'm too young to be alone" look.

I find it to be so odd that in today's society we still measure a woman's success not by what she has accomplished in her career or in life as a whole but instead by whether she found a guy to marry her and give her babies. 

I went to an all woman's college where we were encouraged to find our own light and reach for the stars and enter the work force and change the world and blah blah blah, which was ok BUT -if you snagged a guy from West Point or Maritime you had really hit it big. I still hear this from some of my younger co-workers where they are so obssessed with who else is getting married in the office or in Hollywood.

I can't help but feel inadequate being the only divorcee/single person in my circle of friends and I can't help but still feel a sting when I say in front of a group of snooty mother's that I'm a single mom. It fades quickly but then I get pissed off. Why the hell do I need a man to feel whole or to be looked at as adequate? I don't. I may be alone but I am not lonely, that's not to say that I don't feel lonely at times. It just really pisses me off when people tell me I need a man.

I don't NEED a man, so MIND YO BUSINESS!!!

Monday, September 5, 2011


Courtesy of

OK so here it is,  Labor Day in it's 11th hour and I am so not ready. I'm not ready for Tuesday to be my Monday, I'm not ready for school to start, I'm not ready for summer to be over and I am especially not ready for it to get dark before 7:30pm.

I haven't been posting because I've been trying to get some extra workouts in and just trying to enjoy my last few days of summer-by that I mean I haven't really found anything to write about. I thought I was the most interesting person I knew but I guess I was wrong. I don't want this blog to be a depressive gathering for my friends or a journal about how depressed I am abut being 40. I want to inspire people, help them with what I have learned and share what I know and what I'm going through. So I have been doing some fashion research to bring you the latest and greatest information which I  will try to post that in the next couple of day but I can't guarantee it. I have also been getting back to my meditation and actually working out again- so I will keep you all updated about that.

Since I am working on saying no more often, this also includes saying no to myself although I haven't mastered this yet. Taking on too much just causes me more stress and I haven't been able to say no as often as I would like.

I was nominated as Fundrasing chairperson for my son's soccer team and I've been dedicating a lot of time to that and now school starts and well we know where this is going....m u s t   b r e a t h e!
This week I will be starting my morning meditation and I will let you guys know how that goes. I will also try to post my fashion findings which should be very fun.

Remember: Meditation is better than sitting around doing nothing!