With this week's earth quake, stories left and right of people evacuating their office buildings due to impending disaster, and extreme hurricanes hitting the East Coast by Saturday night, I have started to think about my life and where I am . I've been doing that A LOT lately- I pause what I'm doing, for what seems to be just a minute and think about what I've done, what I'm going to do, what I should have done and what Bear Grylls would do in order to survive an earthquake and any situation life throws at you. (end pause-2 hours later.)
I've been really thinking about happiness lately and things that are important to me. If I were to die tomorrow would I die Happy? Satisfied with what I've done thus far or would I ask for more time?
I'd ask for more fucking time of course because the only thing that I've done well in my life has been my son. My career didn't go as planned, my marriage didn't work out, I'm not seeing anyone and the list goes on and on.But all these things did happen and I still haven't asked myself if I'm happy or ask what's really important to me and it's because I'm afraid of the answer. I'm afraid of the little voice in the back of my head whispering "what if I've failed?" or "what if I continue to fail?"
I am letting you all know that aside from my son, I AM NOW THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO ME!
So from this moment on I am starting a new project- ME. I will dedicate time to me, idolize me, work on me until I am so damn happy I will burst. Now I'm not aiming for perfection just progress...